Ways to Peace of Mind

Whether made intentionally or unconsciously, many of your decisions affect your inner peace of mind. For some people, a sense of security means having a stable, enjoyable job with a high income. For others, peace of mind can mean feeling emotionally secure, such as building trust in a relationship or feeling secure within. When you learn to consciously choose, you can create a more positive and secure life for yourself in your personal and professional life.

Table of Contents

Create emotional security

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/0/00/Be-Secure-Step-1-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Secure-Step-1- Version-4.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/00/Be-Secure-Step-1-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be- Secure-Step-1-Version-4.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of observing our thoughts and feelings, in order to cultivate a positive perception of ourselves and our surroundings in the present moment. ^{[1] XSource of Research Research} shows that practicing mindfulness can help you feel more secure about yourself and your relationships with others, which in turn leads to a sense of satisfaction. . ^{[2] X Trusted Sources American Psychpogical Association Go to Source}

Try to practice breathing with mindfulness. Inhale slowly for a count of five, hold your breath for five seconds, then slowly exhale for five seconds.
Focus on the present moment.
Each time your mind starts to wander, refocus on how your body feels and the sensory information around you.
Cultivating mindfulness requires a lot of patience and practice. Make an effort to do it every day, and over time you will feel happier, more secure, and more at peace. ^{[3] XResearch Sources}

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/8/83/Be-Secure-Step-2-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Secure-Step-2- Version-4.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/8/83/Be-Secure-Step-2-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be- Secure-Step-2-Version-4.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Try connecting with people. Emotional support from people you love and trust can give you a great sense of security. Make up with a friend who was at odds with you and restore that connection in your life, asking for support or advice from those closest to you to renew your sense of community. ^{[4] XResearch Sources}

Opening your arms to friends and rekindling old friendships can remind you that there are people in your life who love and care about you.
Sincere conversations with someone close to you can help you strengthen your relationship with that person. Remember to show love and support to your friends, loved ones or family members, and ask them to do the same.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/c/c6/Be-Secure-Step-3-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Secure-Step-3- Version-4.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/c/c6/Be-Secure-Step-3-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be- Secure-Step-3-Version-4.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Meet your own emotional needs. Everyone has emotional needs that we constantly try to satisfy with love, friendship and family intimacy. Each type of attachment gives us different feelings of comfort, security, and acceptance. If you are feeling emotionally insecure, then perhaps one or more major relationships in your life are unfulfilled. ^{[5] XResearch Sources}

Look at the relationships in your life honestly. Have you ever felt unloved or cared for in those relationships? Do you feel secure with those around you, or do you always feel a little insecure?
If you find that one of the relationships in your life makes you feel insecure, try talking to a friend/lover/or family member about how you feel. Determine what the person could do differently, and talk honestly but lovingly about your needs and how to get them met.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/e/ec/Be-Secure-Step-4-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Secure-Step-4- Version-4.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/e/ec/Be-Secure-Step-4-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be- Secure-Step-4-Version-4.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Learn to trust. Many people feel emotionally insecure due to lack of trust. This could stem from the sad ending of a past love or friendship, or simply from an ingrained fear of abandonment. Whatever the cause of that cynicism, you need to know that you can’t go through life without trusting people. It’s not just because of one bad ending (even so many times) that every relationship or friendship ends like that.

Ask yourself if your cynicism stems from a lack of self-belief. Many people unconsciously impose their fears and negative emotions on others. Do you not trust your partner because you doubt yourself? ^{[6] XResearch Sources}
Sometimes the nature of distrust of others is due to your lack of trust in yourself to be able to make informed decisions. If you want to establish love or friendship with someone, you need to determine if you’re willing to take the risk of getting hurt. Have faith in yourself and trust that you know how to handle the situation if that happens. ^{[7] XResearch Sources}

Find peace of mind about yourself

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/e/ea/Be-Secure-Step-5-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Secure-Step-5- Version-4.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/e/ea/Be-Secure-Step-5-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be- Secure-Step-5-Version-4.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Stop comparing yourself to others. One of the things that can hurt your self-esteem is comparing yourself to others. This is true when you’re making physical comparisons, such as looking at your body and comparing it to actors and models in the media. ^{[8] XResearch Sources} It is also true when you compare your intellect, creativity, and career with others.

Find your own style and recognize your beauty. You are a unique and wonderful individual; and comparing your life/body/career with others will do your own great harm.
Remember that you are ultimately responsible for your own happiness, which includes your own satisfaction and self-love. Be kind to yourself and respect the person you are in the present moment, not the person you are in the future.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/8/81/Be-Secure-Step-6-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Secure-Step-6- Version-4.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/8/81/Be-Secure-Step-6-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be- Secure-Step-6-Version-4.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Recognize and correct your negative beliefs. Everyone has a core belief system; they determine how you feel about yourself in the broader context of the outside world. Many beliefs form when we are young, but others develop (or can be adjusted) later in life. Negative core beliefs are built on negative life experiences, on irrational expectations and biases, and on negative self-evaluations. ^{[9] XResearch Source}

Ask yourself if your experiences in life have led you to believe that something is “wrong” and then ask what your concept of “normal” is based on.
Can you associate a particular person, place, or event with any negative beliefs you have? If so, why do you think that belief is entirely true when it is based on one person’s opinion or a negative event?
Ask yourself honestly, “Have I ever told other people what I think about their body, their career, or their lifestyle?” If you don’t say hurtful things to others, then why are you saying that to yourself?
Review the evidence that supports your negative beliefs. What are those negative beliefs actually based on, and is there anything slightly positive coming out of those beliefs?
Create new opportunities for safe, healthy, and positive experiences you’ve never had before. Approach situations that you would normally avoid in the past (as long as they are safe) and face challenges to the end instead of giving up on your aspirations.
Do good things for yourself, things that are safe, enjoyable, and that make you feel good about yourself.
Try being more assertive with the people in your life. Don’t be bossy, but speak your mind and opinion.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/a/a7/Be-Secure-Step-7-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Secure-Step-7- Version-4.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/a/a7/Be-Secure-Step-7-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be- Secure-Step-7-Version-4.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Acknowledge and praise your strengths. In the hectic day-to-day life, it can be easy to forget how talented, powerful, and interesting you are. It may be harder for you to remember your strengths if your self-esteem is low. Take a few minutes each day to reflect on your strengths and try journaling to see how your self-esteem changes as you spend more time praising yourself. ^{[10] XResearch Source}

List your strengths. Then make another list of your accomplishments. The third list is about qualities/characteristics that you admire in others, and (to some extent) also in you. Read these three lists regularly and try to write three new lists every few weeks. Keep the old listings and compare the old and new versions every few months to see if there are any changes.
Ask a close friend, family member or lover to make a list of your best qualities. Have them write down what makes them care about you, what makes you special, and what you do better than anyone else. Always keep this list with you and read it carefully whenever you feel unhappy with yourself.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/6/68/Be-Secure-Step-8-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Secure-Step-8- Version-4.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/68/Be-Secure-Step-8-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be- Secure-Step-8-Version-4.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Take good care of yourself. If you’re feeling insecure about yourself, you probably haven’t been spending much time taking care of your needs lately. Everyone has physical and mental needs, and if they are not met, we often feel depressed. Take care of yourself every day, and you can feel much more comfortable and confident in yourself. ^{[11] XResearch Source}

Take time each day to take care of personal hygiene. Remember to brush and floss your teeth every day, shower or soak in the tub, style your hair, shave, and file your nails.
Adopt a balanced diet. Make sure to get enough vitamins and nutrients, and avoid unhealthy foods.
Do more physical exercise. Find ways to exercise every day like walking or cycling to run errands instead of riding a motorbike or car. In addition to walking and biking every day, try to do vigorous cardio three times per week.
Wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Whether it’s comfortable in body-hugging clothes or looser pieces, think about what kind of outfit makes you most comfortable and confident to wear every day.
Make sure you get enough sleep. Depending on age, most adults need 7-9 hours of sleep per night. ^{[12] XResearch Source}

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/6/6a/Be-Secure-Step-9-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Secure-Step-9- Version-4.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/6a/Be-Secure-Step-9-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be- Secure-Step-9-Version-4.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Develop SMART goals. A great way to feel more secure and confident is to accomplish goals. Many people feel anxious when they don’t meet their goals, but instead of blaming yourself, think about whether your goals are achievable, or even measurable. Experts agree that developing SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Results-focused and Time-bound) goals can be possible. helps you set meaningful goals and gives you a sense of purpose and success. ^{[13] XResearch Source}

Specific – be clear and simple in defining exactly what you want to do.
Measurable – set goals that you can measure. The only way you’ll know you’re really moving toward your goal is to have a measure of that progress.
Achievable – your goals should be a bit challenging, but ultimately realistic so you can actually achieve them.
Results-focused – the measure of your progress towards your goal should be the results you achieve, not just the actions. Don’t measure your progress just by trying to reach your goal. Measure by the amount of work you achieve on the way to the final destination. Pick up every “small” victory along the way.
Time-bound – give yourself a realistic timeframe. Don’t expect immediate results, but don’t give yourself years of hanging around with just a little bit of effort. Set reasonable and realistic deadlines and promise yourself to finish by that deadline.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/1/1c/Be-Secure-Step-10-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Secure-Step-10- Version-4.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/1/1c/Be-Secure-Step-10-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be- Secure-Step-10-Version-4.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Forgive yourself and others. While living in this world, perhaps you have hurt others and also someone has hurt you. These sad things happen can be intentional or unintentional, but many people have a hard time getting rid of their memories. However, no matter how many times you brood over those regrets, you can’t undo what happened. It will only torture you and make you feel worse about yourself and others. ^{[14] XResearch Source}

Don’t forget that mistakes give you a chance to grow. You may have hurt someone or been hurt by someone, but the important thing is that you learn from your mistakes, and the person who hurt you also learns from their mistakes.
Instead of gnawing on things you wish you had done differently, realize that you want to do differently right now. The present is the only time in which you can change, because the past cannot be changed, and the future does not exist at this moment.
In this moment, focus on being the best version of yourself and find a way to make it happen.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/6/62/Be-Secure-Step-11-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Secure-Step-11- Version-4.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/62/Be-Secure-Step-11-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be- Secure-Step-11-Version-4.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Find things for which you are grateful. Take time each day to reflect on the people and circumstances that have made you the life you are today. Of course, not everyone and everything is going to be fine all the time, but you’re bound to have some great times in your life, and perhaps you’ve also met some lovely and inspirational people. Don’t forget that you may not be where you are today if others don’t give you love, and if you weren’t born into the circumstances you were meant to be. ^{[15] XResearch Source}

No one has a perfect life. In fact, many people struggle all their lives. No matter how difficult your life is, try to remember that there are harder lives out there, and those people are probably admiring your life.
Be grateful to those who give you love and teach you to love. Think how sad and lonely life would be without the love that others give you, at least at some point in your life.
Try to appreciate the little things in life. Watch the sun rise and set every day, gleaning the events you’ve experienced to see a new day – knowing that many people don’t know the same things are happening right now.

Feel financially secure

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/0/06/Be-Secure-Step-12-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Secure-Step-12- Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/06/Be-Secure-Step-12-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Be- Secure-Step-12-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Identify what you hope to achieve. What does financial security mean to you? If you just think of it as merely being rich, you probably don’t have realistic dreams. But if you think it’s paying off debt, saving money for college, or saving for retirement, then you have a realistic goal you can work towards. ^{[16] XResearch Source}

Having a clear idea of the purpose and reason for saving will help you stay motivated and on track.
Once you have a clear purpose, you can ask a financial advisor to help you find ways to invest or save money.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/1/17/Be-Secure-Step-13-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Secure-Step-13- Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/1/17/Be-Secure-Step-13-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Be- Secure-Step-13-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Assess the current situation. If you want to feel financially secure, you need to first assess your current financial situation to determine what needs to be changed (if any). Start with a review of your financial situation, including savings and expenses. ^{[17] XResearch Source}

Record your income and savings (if applicable).
Track spending daily, weekly, monthly. Keep a small notebook in your pocket or purse and record all your expenses. This includes the things you’ve purchased, the bills you paid, and the date/time they were spent. You should also make a note of how you feel when you shop for anything.
Review your spending patterns. Do you tend to shop when you’re sad or stressed? Is there something you buy on a whim that you don’t really need, or can you buy it somewhere cheaper?
Make sure not to spend more than you earn, as that habit can quickly push you into debt, and it’s very difficult to recover financially when the debt exceeds the credit.
Find ways to reduce spending. You don’t have to deprive yourself of everything that brings you joy, but you should also set limits and boundaries for yourself. Don’t do random shopping, and don’t buy useless items that you don’t really need.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/1/17/Be-Secure-Step-14-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Secure-Step-14- Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/1/17/Be-Secure-Step-14-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Be- Secure-Step-14-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Cut down the costs. Some expenses such as rent, living expenses and food are unavoidable. However, even with those essentials, you can spend less by shopping smartly and avoiding unnecessary expenses. ^{[18] XResearch Sources}

Every time you go grocery shopping, be sure to bring a list of what you need to buy and tick it.
Whenever possible, you should try to buy items that are on sale, affordable/regular brands, or buy in bulk. That way you can save a lot of money and still buy the necessary items but at a cheaper price.
Try to buy supplies whenever possible.
Compare both before buying. Do your best to search for advertisements on the internet and in newspapers, you can find the same item elsewhere at a lower price.
Cooking at home. Eat out as little as possible, bring lunch and a thermos of coffee to work every day. This will save you a lot of money, and you can use that money for other things or put into a savings account.
Find free or low-cost entertainment. There are many movies that you can find online for free or for a low price (through legitimate websites), or go to the library to borrow books, CDs and movies for free.
Adjust your thermostat during the day when you’re not at home and at night when you sleep. Try to use the air conditioner or heater only when you are at home and awake. (However, if you have pets, keep in mind that they need a comfortable temperature day and night, even when you’re not at home.)
Don’t shop with a bank loan or a credit card. Save until you have enough money to buy the things you want to avoid the pressure (and debt). ^{[19] XResearch Source}

Advice

Don’t let anyone discourage you.
If there are times when life feels overwhelming, don’t take it to heart – write it down on paper, talk to a friend or see a counselor.
Get enough sleep, eat healthy and exercise. Self-care is the first step to feeling happier and more secure in life.
Find positive role models and try to imitate them. Don’t go against your nature, though – you should find a way to incorporate the positive aspects you admire into your own personality.
Remember that difficult times always come and go, but everything will pass eventually. Seek comfort from those around you who care about you, and know that things will get better.

Warning

If you’re overwhelmed with insecurities and feel like you can’t handle it, seek help. Talk to a therapist about ways to manage stress and work toward a healthier, more secure sense of self.
Holding a negative image of yourself is very harmful to you.

Steps

Create emotional security

Find peace of mind about yourself

Feel financially secure

Advice

Warning

Related Posts