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In a world filled with constant communication, it seems that everyone is constantly talking, expressing their thoughts, and sharing their opinions. However, in an era where information overload is the norm, sometimes saying less can be more impactful. Learning how to say less can lead to enhanced communication skills, improved listening abilities, and a greater understanding of the power of silence. Whether in personal relationships, professional settings, or even in everyday conversations, mastering the art of saying less can bring about more meaningful connections and deeper understanding. In this guide, we will explore various strategies and techniques to help you express yourself concisely, listen attentively, and convey your message effectively without unnecessary verbosity. Join us on this journey of discovery as we unravel the benefits and pitfalls of saying less, and learn how to make your words truly count.
This article was co-written by Tasha Rube, LMSW. Tasha Rube is a licensed social worker in Missouri. She received her MSW degree from the University of Missouri in 2014.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 67,612 times.
Many people want to learn to talk less and listen more. Listening more can help you gather information, understand others better, and learn to express yourself concisely.
Steps
Speak to the bare minimum
![Image titled Speak Less Step 1](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/a/a5/Speak-Less-Step-1-Version-3.jpg/v4-728px-Speak-Less-Step-1-Version-3.jpg)
- People tend to listen to those who speak cautiously. People who often express their opinions or talk in the long run can lose the attention of others. If you have a tendency to talk a lot, you will often find yourself sharing unnecessary information.
![Image titled Speak Less Step 2](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/e/e9/Speak-Less-Step-2-Version-3.jpg/v4-728px-Speak-Less-Step-2-Version-3.jpg)
- For example, if you and your co-worker are in the break room together, you don’t necessarily have to be social. If your co-workers don’t seem interested in talking, they won’t want to communicate.
- In this case, just smile politely or keep quiet.
![Image titled Speak Less Step 3](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/f/f6/Speak-Less-Step-3-Version-3.jpg/v4-728px-Speak-Less-Step-3-Version-3.jpg)
- When people talk too much, people often reveal information that should be kept private. When you think of something to say, especially something very personal, pause for a moment. Remember that you can always say it later, but once you do, you won’t be able to keep it to yourself.
![Image titled Speak Less Step 4](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/f/f5/Speak-Less-Step-4-Version-3.jpg/v4-728px-Speak-Less-Step-4-Version-3.jpg)
- Observe body language. Listeners can wiggle or check their phones when they start to get bored. Their eyes will turn to look elsewhere. So try to wrap up the story within the next 20 seconds and give the other person a chance to share.
- Normally, you shouldn’t speak for more than 40 seconds at a time. Speaking longer will make the listener feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed.
![Image titled Speak Less Step 5](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/1/1d/Speak-Less-Step-5-Version-3.jpg/v4-728px-Speak-Less-Step-5-Version-3.jpg)
- When you find yourself talking too much, stop and assess your feelings. How do you feel? Are you worried about something?
- You can count to 10 in your head or take deep breaths if you’re nervous. You can also motivate yourself before going to social events. Remind yourself that it’s normal to worry but relax and have fun.
- If social anxiety is a serious problem for you, see a therapist for treatment.
![Image titled Speak Less Step 6](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/7/71/Speak-Less-Step-6-Version-3.jpg/v4-728px-Speak-Less-Step-6-Version-3.jpg)
- If you tend to talk a lot to get people’s attention, then tell yourself that others will be more impressed with what you say than how long you say it.
- Instead of rambling about yourself, save what you know for a time when you can add something of value to the conversation.
Listen more
![Image titled Speak Less Step 7](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/0f/Speak-Less-Step-7-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Speak-Less-Step-7-Version-2.jpg)
- Always look at the person who is speaking. If you feel another thought creeping into your head, remind yourself to come back to reality and listen.
![Image titled Speak Less Step 8](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/5/56/Speak-Less-Step-8-Version-3.jpg/v4-728px-Speak-Less-Step-8-Version-3.jpg)
- Electronic devices, such as cell phones, often cause you to keep an eye on them, especially when making noises or notifications. Putting your phone in your purse or pocket when you’re talking to other people will keep you from being distracted.
- Eye contact can help you see if you’re boring others. If the other person doesn’t look you in the eye when you speak, you’re probably talking too much. Stop and let them speak.
![Image titled Speak Less Step 9](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/c/cd/Speak-Less-Step-9-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Speak-Less-Step-9-Version-2.jpg)
- Visualizing what is being exchanged can also help. Draw pictures in your head that describe what the other person is saying.
- You can also stick to keywords or phrases while the other person talks.
![Image titled Speak Less Step 10](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/1/1a/Speak-Less-Step-10-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Speak-Less-Step-10-Version-2.jpg)
- For example, you could say, “So you said you were nervous about the upcoming company party?”
- Then ask questions. For example: “What do you think is the stress? Would you like to talk about this?”
- Be sure to show empathy and nonjudgment when listening to the other person. You can show respect and acknowledge their point of view without having to give up yours.
Avoid making mistakes
![Image titled Speak Less Step 11](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/9/9c/Speak-Less-Step-11-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Speak-Less-Step-11-Version-2.jpg)
- For example, if you are going through a big hardship in your life, it is normal to talk to others if you need support.
- Sharing is also important if your opinion is valuable. If you have a strong opinion about something at work, then sharing it with your boss and colleagues will benefit everyone.
![Image titled Speak Less Step 12](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/d/df/Speak-Less-Step-12-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Speak-Less-Step-12-Version-2.jpg)
- Eye contact may also be less appropriate for some cultures. Asian cultures may consider eye contact disrespectful. If you meet someone from another culture, be sure to study social etiquette related to eye contact.
![Image titled Speak Less Step 13](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/1/14/Speak-Less-Step-13-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Speak-Less-Step-13-Version-2.jpg)
Advice
- Before joining the conversation, consider whether your contribution is needed; if not, keep quiet.
This article was co-written by Tasha Rube, LMSW. Tasha Rube is a licensed social worker in Missouri. She received her MSW degree from the University of Missouri in 2014.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 67,612 times.
Many people want to learn to talk less and listen more. Listening more can help you gather information, understand others better, and learn to express yourself concisely.
In conclusion, learning how to say less can greatly benefit us in various aspects of our lives. It allows us to cultivate better communication skills, deepen our understanding of others, and foster more meaningful connections. By choosing our words wisely and embracing silence, we can avoid unnecessary misunderstandings, conflicts, and stress. Additionally, practicing brevity can enhance our professionalism, leadership abilities, and personal growth. It is important to remember that saying less does not mean compromising our thoughts or opinions, but rather emphasizing the quality and impact of our words. So, let us strive to be more intentional with our speech, to listen attentively, and to appreciate the power of silence. By doing so, we can truly harness the art of saying less and experience a more fulfilling and meaningful existence.
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