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Relationships are a beautiful yet complex part of our lives. They bring love, joy, and companionship, but they also come with their fair share of disagreements and arguments. When you find yourself embroiled in a dispute with your girlfriend, it is essential to approach the situation with sensitivity, understanding, and a willingness to resolve it. In this guide, we will explore various strategies and techniques to help you navigate through conflicts and ultimately find common ground with your loved one. By embracing effective communication, active listening, empathy, and compromise, you can foster a harmonious relationship that can withstand the test of time. So, let us delve into the realm of resolving arguments with your girlfriend and learn how to turn conflict into an opportunity for growth and connection.
This article was co-written by John Keegan. John Keegan is a New York-based marriage and love expert and motivational speaker. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his knowledge of marriage and love, attraction and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and gives seminars on marriage and love internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York and Men’s Health.
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What do you do when you have a big argument with your girlfriend? Maybe you both feel resentful, angry, or annoyed. If you want to maintain your relationship, there are ways to mend it. Start by understanding the argument, then use love and tolerance to resolve the situation..
Steps
Handling the quarrel
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Do: say “I’m confused and need some time to calm down. Can we talk about this tomorrow?”
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- Think back to what happened. Why are you two arguing? What caused the quarrel? What did you say? Do you regret what you said? Why yes or why not? [2] XResearch Source
- Always remember that memory is subjective, especially in stressful situations. Maybe your girlfriend remembers a different aspect of the argument than you do. This is normal, and it is unlikely that either of you is being dishonest. It’s just that stress can cause incorrect memories. [3] XResearch Sources
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- Accept that emotions are not always rational. Supposedly, if your girlfriend hurt your feelings, rationally thinking that she didn’t mean to do so might not help you let it go. Know that both you and your girlfriend have the right to express how you feel when you disagree, even if the reaction isn’t entirely justified. [4] XResearch Sources
Don’t: shout “Why are you behaving like that?!”
Do: say “I’m angry because you didn’t keep your promise yesterday.”
Dispute resolution
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- Choose when to chat with no time limit. Choose a weekday or weekend evening when you both don’t have to work early the next morning. Have a conversation early in the evening around the time after dinner so hunger and sleepiness don’t get in the way of the conversation. [6] XResearch Sources
- If the two of you don’t live together, choose a neutral place. While you may feel shy about discussing your relationship in public, a neutral place can ensure no one feels awkward. You can choose a place where there are not many people around, like a large, quiet coffee shop or an empty public park. [7] XResearch Sources
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- Eye contact. Nod frequently to show that you are listening. Never cross your arms or make other gestures that make you look tense. Try to avoid stress, like fumbling with your clothes or squirming your hands. [9] X Trusted Source US Gepogical Survey Go to source
- Nod every now and then, as it’s a sign that you’re listening to what she has to say. [10] X Trusted Source US Gepogical Survey Go to source
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- Be clear and concise when speaking. Don’t go into too much detail and try to get straight to the point about what you’re about to say. Don’t interrupt when your girlfriend is talking. Regularly ask her if she understands what you are saying. Ask clearly when she says anything you don’t understand. [11] X Trusted Source US Gepogical Survey Go to source
- Say sentences with the subject “you”. This ensures that you are expressing your own feelings rather than making an objective assessment of the situation. For example, instead of saying, “You overreacted because you were late and embarrassed me with your friends,” say something like, “I feel embarrassed that you raised your voice in front of your friends because you came. late.” [12] X Trusted Source US Gepogical Survey Go to source
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Do: say “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry to have upset you.” [14] XResearch Source
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- Realize if you can find out if there was an underlying issue that led to the argument. If you have a big argument, there’s no doubt that it’s not just a minor issue. Try to find the point of disagreement and what you can do to mediate it. Sometimes, just acknowledging that the two of you perceive a problem differently can help ease the tension. Both of you will no longer see things personally if you understand the difference in your personality mindset. [15] XResearch Source
Don’t: force your girlfriend (or yourself) to change your mind about disagreements.
Do: come up with ways to limit conflict, like avoiding controversial activities or topics while you’re together.
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Do: accept her reaction calmly, even if she says “Yes, you’re a jerk.”
Prevent future conflicts
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- Suppressing the situation means that when the next fight occurs, you will end up bringing up things from the past. This can leave your girlfriend feeling attacked and bombarded. When a problem arises, clarify it immediately. Even a small problem can lead to resentment later on. [17] XResearch Source
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Advice
- Make sure you’re aware of a toxic relationship. When the time it takes to “resolve the conflict” is longer than the time you two have fun together, your relationship may not be worth the effort.
This article was co-written by John Keegan. John Keegan is a New York-based marriage and love expert and motivational speaker. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his knowledge of marriage and love, attraction and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and gives seminars on marriage and love internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York and Men’s Health.
This article has been viewed 15,880 times.
What do you do when you have a big argument with your girlfriend? Maybe you both feel resentful, angry, or annoyed. If you want to maintain your relationship, there are ways to mend it. Start by understanding the argument, then use love and tolerance to resolve the situation..
In conclusion, resolving an argument with your girlfriend requires patience, understanding, and effective communication. It is crucial to approach the situation with empathy and willingness to listen to each other’s perspectives. Acknowledging the emotions and concerns of your partner and expressing your own thoughts and feelings in a calm and respectful manner is essential for reaching a resolution. It is also important to avoid blame and instead focus on finding a solution together. Compromise and finding common ground are key elements in resolving conflicts. Additionally, maintaining a healthy relationship requires ongoing efforts, including regular communication and open dialogue to prevent small disagreements from escalating into larger conflicts. By applying these strategies and embracing a cooperative mindset, you can successfully navigate arguments with your girlfriend and strengthen your bond in the process.
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