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Breaking up with your boyfriend is never an easy task, particularly when you still have deep feelings for him. The complexity lies in the fact that love alone might not be enough to sustain a healthy, long-lasting relationship. There might be various reasons pushing you towards ending the relationship, ranging from compatibility issues to personal growth and individual aspirations. However, learning how to break up with your boyfriend when you still love him requires a delicate balance of emotions, communication, and self-reflection. In this guide, we will explore the necessary steps and considerations to help you navigate this challenging situation with grace, respect, and clarity, while also prioritizing your own emotional wellbeing and personal growth.
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 33 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 60,575 times.
Breaking up with someone you love is difficult, but with the right attitude and high confidence, you can put out the flames of love. After all, you need to put your health, happiness and future first. If that future doesn’t hold your man, it’s time to end things with him, even if you still have feelings for him.
Steps
Make the right decision
![Image titled Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him Step 1](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/a/ac/Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-1-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-1-Version-2.jpg)
- Do you just want to break up because of current circumstances, like a recent argument or money problems? Or because of long-standing problems?
- Have you been wondering about breaking up or have been sure about this decision for a few weeks now?
- If your lover asked you for a second chance, would you agree?
- In the last 6 months have you met your lover? [1] XResearch Source
![Image titled Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him Step 2](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/f/f2/Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-2-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-2-Version-2.jpg)
- You can’t give him the love he deserves. You need to move because of a new job, want to spend more time with your family, or can’t meet his needs. If you really love him but can’t/don’t want to be with him, it’s time to break up.
- You fell in love with someone else. Unfortunately, you cannot choose who you love. If you already have deep feelings for someone else, you need to end it all with your current man before moving on.
- You find yourself unable to spend the rest of your life with him. This is especially important if he seems to be planning a future with you. End things now instead of hoping you’ll change your mind — this won’t happen.
- You are not happy. If the sad times outweigh the happy times and that relationship weighs on your mind every day, it’s time to move on. This is not a temporary phase, but a relationship that has already begun to falter. [2] XResearch Source
![Image titled Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him Step 3](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/7/71/Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-3-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-3-Version-2.jpg)
![Image titled Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him Step 4](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/1/15/Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-4-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-4-Version-2.jpg)
- You won’t be alone forever. Being alone doesn’t mean you’ll never find love again, even if you feel like there isn’t another “perfect” man left.
- Independence makes you stronger. Living alone is hard work, but it causes you to grow in unexpected ways and this is necessary in life. You don’t have to have him to be strong and happy. [3] XResearch Sources
![Image titled Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him Step 5](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/e/e3/Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-5-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-5-Version-2.jpg)
- Remember, it’s best to break up with him even though you still have feelings for him. You just have to make sure that the bad side outweighs the good.
![Image titled Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him Step 6](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/3/38/Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-6-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-6-Version-2.jpg)
- Sometimes just a feeling of “This isn’t going anywhere” is a perfectly valid reason to break up. Remember that you are doing this for you, not for anyone else.
![Image titled Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him Step 7](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/3/35/Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-7-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-7-Version-2.jpg)
- Remember — it’s better to be happy alone than to suffer in a relationship. [5] XResearch Sources
Break up with lover
![Image titled Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him Step 8](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/2/26/Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-8-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-8-Version-2.jpg)
- Avoid saying goodbye to your boyfriend on a date. You should schedule a private meeting to talk about this instead of taking advantage of a fun date night. [6] XResearch Sources
![Image titled Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him Step 9](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/0/01/Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-9-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-9-Version-2.jpg)
- Breathe deeply and count to three in your head. When you count to “no”, it’s time to say goodbye.
![Image titled Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him Step 10](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/b/b7/Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-10-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-10-Version-2.jpg)
- “I’m ready to end our relationship.”
- “It’s time for us to date someone else.”
- “I think we should break up.” [7] XResearch Sources
![Image titled Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him Step 11](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/3/3b/Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-11-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-11-Version-2.jpg)
- “I realize we’re growing apart. We’ve come a long way together and I cherish that time, but I need to go my own way.”
- “I feel like we don’t treat each other with respect anymore. Part of it is my fault. But we need to move on to meet people who are willing to treat us better.”
![Image titled Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him Step 12](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/4/40/Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-12-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-12-Version-2.jpg)
- “I understand, but I think we need to go our separate ways.”
- “I don’t want to temporarily break up and leave things in the dark. We need to break up.”
![Image titled Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him Step 13](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/e/eb/Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-13.jpg/v4-728px-Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-13.jpg)
Forget that person after breaking up
![Image titled Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him Step 14](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/6/6b/Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-14.jpg/v4-728px-Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-14.jpg)
- Missing your partner won’t change any of your problems, and that’s no reason to get back together. The big issues that caused you to break up will persist when the situation calms down.
![Image titled Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him Step 15](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/8/80/Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-15.jpg/v4-728px-Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-15.jpg)
- You guys may be normal friends someday, but that’s for the future. You need to completely forget about the feelings of love, and the only way is to stop seeing each other.
- Putting away pictures and objects that might bring back sad memories is one way to begin the healing process after a breakup.
![Image titled Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him Step 16](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/9/9a/Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-16.jpg/v4-728px-Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-16.jpg)
- Live a life for you. Spend more time taking care of yourself.
![Image titled Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him Step 17](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/2/2e/Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-17.jpg/v4-728px-Break-Up-with-Your-Boyfriend-if-You-Are-in-Love-with-Him-Step-17.jpg)
- When you feel like calling or texting your ex-boyfriend, call your friends. Briefly let them know that you are trying to break old habits by chatting to forget about your problems.
- Most people will be happy to help you, but that doesn’t mean they want to hear about your boyfriend all day long. Avoid mentioning him, you should move on to other topics instead. [11] XResearch Source
Advice
- Trust your feelings. Even if you can’t think of a good reason to break up, your emotions will help you find happiness.
Warning
- If you’re afraid your boyfriend will turn violent, say goodbye in public and let a friend know about your plans.
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 33 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 60,575 times.
Breaking up with someone you love is difficult, but with the right attitude and high confidence, you can put out the flames of love. After all, you need to put your health, happiness and future first. If that future doesn’t hold your man, it’s time to end things with him, even if you still have feelings for him.
In conclusion, breaking up with someone you still love is an incredibly difficult and challenging decision. It requires thoughtfulness, sensitivity, and honest communication. While it may seem counterintuitive, sometimes letting go of the person you love is the best decision for both parties involved. It allows for personal growth, self-discovery, and the possibility of finding a healthier and happier future. Despite the pain, heartache, and uncertainty that may come with breaking up, it is important to prioritize your own emotional well-being. Remember that love alone may not be enough to sustain a relationship, and sometimes it is necessary to make the difficult choice of letting go. Trust your instincts, communicate honestly, and be compassionate towards yourself and your partner throughout the process. Keep in mind that moving away from a romantic relationship does not mean you have to entirely let go of the love you still feel. With time and the right approach, you may be able to transition into a friendship or find a different way to nurture the love you once shared. Whatever the outcome, always remember that you deserve happiness and fulfillment, and sometimes that means making the difficult decision to break up with someone you still love.
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