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As humans, we all make mistakes in our lives. Sometimes these mistakes can unintentionally hurt others and damage relationships that are important to us. Asking for forgiveness can be a difficult and humbling act, but it is an essential step towards healing and rebuilding trust. In this guide, we will explore the art of asking for forgiveness, discussing various strategies and techniques that can help us approach the process with sincerity, empathy, and understanding. Whether it is seeking forgiveness from a loved one, a friend, or a colleague, this guide aims to provide practical advice and insights to help navigate this delicate and essential aspect of interpersonal relationships. By learning how to ask for forgiveness effectively, we can cultivate healthier connections and foster personal growth, offering the opportunity for redemption and restored harmony in our lives.
This article was co-written by Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Moshe Ratson is the CEO of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a training and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is a certified career coach by the International Federation of Coaches. He received a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy from the University of Iona. Moshe is a member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT) and a member of the International Federation of Coaches (ICF).
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Asking for forgiveness is not a simple matter of stammering a few words. It’s a way of showing that you accept your mistakes and learn from them. To ask forgiveness from another person you need time to think about your actions and how they have affected the person you have wronged. Then you need to approach the person with sincerity and be ready to accept the rejection. Asking for forgiveness is not easy, but you can learn it by taking these simple steps. Read on to learn how to properly apologize.
Steps
Before Sorry
![Image titled Ask for Forgiveness Step 1](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/e/e3/Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-1-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-1-Version-2.jpg)
- Hypothetical scenario 1: I embarrassed my friend by arguing at his birthday party.
- Hypothetical scenario 2: I got mad at my wife and was upset all day.
![Image titled Ask for Forgiveness Step 2](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/5/5e/Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-2-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-2-Version-2.jpg)
- Hypothetical scenario 1: I had an argument at a party because I felt left out and wanted attention.
- Hypothetical scenario 2: I did this to my wife because I couldn’t sleep last night and was thinking too much.
![Image titled Ask for Forgiveness Step 3](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/a/a5/Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-3-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-3-Version-2.jpg)
- Hypothetical scenario 1: If my friend got into an argument at my party, I would feel angry and betrayed.
- Hypothetical scenario 2: If my wife gets angry for no reason and treats me badly all day, I will feel hurt and bad.
![Image titled Ask for Forgiveness Step 4](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/4/49/Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-4-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-4-Version-2.jpg)
- Take some time for yourself before apologizing, look in the mirror, and say three things you feel good about yourself.
![Image titled Ask for Forgiveness Step 5](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/8/89/Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-5-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-5-Version-2.jpg)
- By taking the time to write down your apology, you’ll prove to others that you’ve put a lot of thought into your mistake. Your apology will be more sincerely understood.
- Direct apology would be better. But if you can’t meet the person in person or by phone, you can still email or mail them. [4] XResearch Sources
Please Forgive
![Image titled Ask for Forgiveness Step 6](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/0/07/Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-6-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-6-Version-2.jpg)
- Reinforce your word of repentance by saying exactly what you feel sorry for. For example, “I’m sorry I argued at your party”. Or, “I’m sorry I got mad and angry at you yesterday.”
![Image titled Ask for Forgiveness Step 7](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/8/8f/Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-7-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-7-Version-2.jpg)
- For example, “I had an argument because I felt left out and wanted attention, but that was not an excuse for my actions.” Or, “I’m behaving like this because I didn’t sleep last night and was thinking too much, but it’s not your fault and I was wrong to blame it on you.”
![Image titled Ask for Forgiveness Step 8](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/7/7c/Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-8-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-8-Version-2.jpg)
- For example, “Having an argument at an uncle’s party that I know embarrassed him with his new co-workers.” Or, “By treating me like that, you made me feel unappreciated.”
![Image titled Ask for Forgiveness Step 9](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/2/20/Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-9-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-9-Version-2.jpg)
- For example, “In the future, I will tell others about my feelings instead of taking action.” Or, “Next time, if I’m having a bad day, I’ll take some time for myself and try not to take my anger out on you.”
![Image titled Ask for Forgiveness Step 10](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/1/13/Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-10-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-10-Version-2.jpg)
- For example: “I’ve changed since that incident. I’m trying to find positive ways to release my anger. I’m going to the gym and taking a kick-boxing class. I also just talked to my therapist. about how to deal with your anger.”
![Image titled Ask for Forgiveness Step 11](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/f/f6/Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-11-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-11-Version-2.jpg)
- For example: “I care a lot about you and I appreciate our friendship. Will you forgive me?”
![Image titled Ask for Forgiveness Step 12](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/1/12/Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-12.jpg/v4-728px-Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-12.jpg)
Dealing with Frustration
![Image titled Ask for Forgiveness Step 13](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/c/c7/Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-13.jpg/v4-728px-Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-13.jpg)
![Image titled Ask for Forgiveness Step 14](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/a/a4/Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-14.jpg/v4-728px-Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-14.jpg)
- Don’t be angry with the person for not forgiving you. Forgiveness is a privilege, not a right. Remember that you may be forgiven if you are then likable and empathetic. [12] XResearch Source
![Image titled Ask for Forgiveness Step 15](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/2/26/Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-15.jpg/v4-728px-Ask-for-Forgiveness-Step-15.jpg)
- Apologizing in person is always the best way, but if that’s not possible, reach out to them by another means of communication. Text, email, but don’t give up.
Advice
- Remember, actions speak louder than words. Realize your apology in action as soon as possible.
- Practicing apologizing is a good idea. Saying sorry doesn’t come naturally to many of us and so it takes practice.
- If the person is very angry and you think you will not be able to handle the situation, wait for a better time.
- Think about the person’s feelings and how you would feel in that person’s place. Think about this before apologizing. When you know how they feel, it’s easier to understand why you need to apologize.
- Write down your apology so that when you apologize you won’t forget what you meant. Writing down your apology will also give you organization and control.
Warning
- Don’t make excuses for your actions. This just gives the impression that you don’t really regret your actions.
- Don’t blame others when apologizing. It may cause them to reject parts of their apology if you say something that hurts their ego. Remember that you can talk about these other issues at another time if you intend to continue the relationship.
- Do not exaggerate feelings of regret. It can give the impression that you are lying. Be honest and sincere, but don’t be so tragic.
This article was co-written by Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Moshe Ratson is the CEO of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a training and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is a certified career coach by the International Federation of Coaches. He received a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy from the University of Iona. Moshe is a member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT) and a member of the International Federation of Coaches (ICF).
This article has been viewed 8,423 times.
Asking for forgiveness is not a simple matter of stammering a few words. It’s a way of showing that you accept your mistakes and learn from them. To ask forgiveness from another person you need time to think about your actions and how they have affected the person you have wronged. Then you need to approach the person with sincerity and be ready to accept the rejection. Asking for forgiveness is not easy, but you can learn it by taking these simple steps. Read on to learn how to properly apologize.
In conclusion, asking for forgiveness is an essential step towards repairing damaged relationships and finding peace within oneself. It requires a genuine reflection on one’s actions, empathy towards the hurt caused, and the willingness to take responsibility for one’s mistakes. By following the steps outlined in this guide – acknowledging the offense, expressing sincere remorse, making amends, and giving the person time and space – individuals can increase their chances of receiving forgiveness. However, it is important to remember that forgiveness is not guaranteed, and the process may take time. Ultimately, asking for forgiveness not only allows for the possibility of healing and reconciliation but also promotes personal growth and maturity. It is through humbly seeking forgiveness that we can learn from our past mistakes and strive to become better individuals.
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