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When it comes to maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship, a satisfying and passionate sex life plays a vital role. However, after spending considerable time together, many couples may find themselves in a rut and their once-intense spark in the bedroom may diminish. The good news is that reigniting the fire and maintaining that sizzling energy is entirely possible with a little effort and experimentation. In this article, we will explore five ways couples can keep the fire alive in the bedroom, allowing them to connect intimately and sustain the passion that initially brought them together. Whether you are a long-term couple or newly committed, these techniques will provide you with valuable insights to enhance your sexual experiences and strengthen the bond between you and your partner.
This article was co-written by Jacqueline Hellyer. Jacqueline Hellyer is a psychotherapist and founder of The Love Life Blog and The LoveLife Clinic. With over 20 years of experience, Jacqueline specializes in counseling and advice on sex and emotional issues. In addition to working as a psychosexual therapist for the Australian Association of Sexologists, Jacqueline is also a professional coach for the International Federation of Coaches (ICF). Jacqueline holds a bachelor’s degree in biochemistry and humanities from the Australian National University, a postgraduate degree in applied sciences from the University of Canberra, a bachelor’s degree in linguistics and literature from the University of New England, and a master’s degree. in sexual health from the University of Sydney and a master’s degree in cognitive science, spirituality & transpersonal psychology from the Alef Trust. Her work and knowledge have been featured in the magazines Australian Men’s Health, Cosmoppitan, Australian Women’s Health, Marie Claire and 60 Minutes.
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 2,743 times.
To begin with, let’s make one thing clear: marriage isn’t the reason sex gets boring. Whether you’ve been married for 2 months or 20 years, keeping the fire in the bedroom is simply talking and taking “sex” seriously in your relationship. Do not you believe it? Here, we’ve got all you need to know to help you live a happily ever after and sexually fulfilled life.
Steps
Improve sex life in marriage
![Image titled Have Good Sex in Marriage Step 4](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/b/b5/Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-4.jpg/v4-728px-Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-4.jpg)
- Casual dates also help – do what you both enjoy. If you want to go out to dinner and watch a movie, there’s nothing wrong with that. It is important that the two of you have private moments for each other.
- Put your phone aside when you’re out on a date so you can enjoy some quality time together. If you have young children, set a certain time to check in, such as right before the kids go to bed.
![Image titled Have Good Sex in Marriage Step 5](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/4/4d/Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-5.jpg/v4-728px-Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-5.jpg)
- Share your concerns with your partner. Couples can study together if they find something they both don’t know.
- Masturbation is also a way for you to learn about your body, as well as what types of touch and senses bring you pleasure.
![Image titled Have Good Sex in Marriage Step 6](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/3/3a/Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-6.jpg/v4-728px-Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-6.jpg)
- Check out books, newspapers, and videos for inspiration to try new things. Even pictures and pornography can give you some ideas. You can find many of these for free online, so no one will know but you and your wife.
- Remember that consent is still important even if you are married. If you’re going to try something new, you and your partner should consult each other regularly to make sure you’re both having fun.
- You can also agree on a safe word to stop as soon as one of you feels uncomfortable.
![Image titled Have Good Sex in Marriage Step 7](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/2/22/Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-7.jpg/v4-728px-Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-7.jpg)
- For example, you might send your child out to check the mailbox or take out the trash. Maybe the kids are only absent for 1-2 minutes, but that should be enough for the two of you to cuddle a little.
![Image titled Have Good Sex in Marriage Step 8](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/5/58/Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-8.jpg/v4-728px-Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-8.jpg)
- For example, you can crawl naked next to your partner, pressing your body against theirs. Sometimes that’s enough to let them know what you want.
- Don’t get cocky if you try to be sexy but your partner doesn’t respond. Perhaps you also remember a time when you were in your partner’s shoes – situations like this happen all the time. Never get angry or try to force your partner into this.
- If your partner isn’t interested in having sex, you can cuddle or find other ways to cuddle.
![Image titled Have Good Sex in Marriage Step 9](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/c/c7/Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-9.jpg/v4-728px-Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-9.jpg)
- Every couple has a different way of doing this, so do whatever you and your partner enjoy. Maybe it’s candlelight and sexy love songs, or it could be nothing more than a sports game on TV that a couple in cheerleaders watch.
![Image titled Have Good Sex in Marriage Step 10](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/8/81/Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-10.jpg/v4-728px-Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-10.jpg)
- For example, let’s say you just read an article that says that couples with great sex lives usually have sex twice a week, but you and your husband only have sex every two weeks. Is that frequency enough for you? Are you and your partner satisfied? If yes, that’s fine!
- This could also mean deciding to stop watching porn. If you find yourself constantly comparing your performance to porn actors and feel inadequate, then just turn it off.
![Image titled Have Good Sex in Marriage Step 11](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/9/9a/Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-11.jpg/v4-728px-Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-11.jpg)
- Physical activity also helps you improve your self-image and feel more confident with your body movements.
- While exercise isn’t a miracle, if you lead a sedentary life, getting more active can change your sex life for the better.
Create intimacy for a better sex life
![Image titled Have Good Sex in Marriage Step 12](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/8/8c/Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-12.jpg/v4-728px-Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-12.jpg)
- This doesn’t mean you have to constantly be suggestive or make sexual innuendos. You just need to talk about sex in general, just like you would talk about your favorite sports or pastimes.
- If you are reading articles about human sexuality and learning more about pleasure, you and your spouse can share and discuss those articles.
![Image titled Have Good Sex in Marriage Step 13](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/8/85/Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-13.jpg/v4-728px-Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-13.jpg)
- Non-sexual threads bridge the gap between sex and everyday touches. When the couple is used to touching each other, you will no longer have to worry about transitioning to “sex”.
- Physical intimacy also makes it easier to try new things in love without feeling awkward. If you’re not used to it, just start slowly; Then gradually you will feel more comfortable.
![Image titled Have Good Sex in Marriage Step 14](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/8/82/Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-14.jpg/v4-728px-Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-14.jpg)
- Try to think of at least one compliment each day for your partner, such as being patient with their children or their crafty coffee making. Whatever it is, look for something very specific.
![Image titled Have Good Sex in Marriage Step 15](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/8/87/Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-15.jpg/v4-728px-Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-15.jpg)
- You can increase emotional and spiritual intimacy by having open and honest conversations with your partner once a week. Just a few minutes of conversation can bring two people closer together.
- Many times, the spiritual and emotional closeness comes from two people getting to know each other and exposing their vulnerabilities when together.
- If you’ve been married for a long time, you may feel like you know your partner well and don’t need to try to find out or question them. New activities that a couple do together, like learning a new hobby together, can help a couple see each other in a new light.
![Image titled Have Good Sex in Marriage Step 16](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/5/52/Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-16.jpg/v4-728px-Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-16.jpg)
- You don’t have to go far – in fact, you don’t even have to leave the city you live in. If long trips don’t fit your schedule or budget, book a night in a hotel to enjoy a world of two and leave everyday life outside.
![Image titled Have Good Sex in Marriage Step 17](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/c/c0/Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-17.jpg/v4-728px-Have-Good-Sex-in-Marriage-Step-17.jpg)
- A therapist can help you if you have a psychological problem or past trauma that has affected your sex life in some way. If the problem is related to your relationship with your partner, couple therapy may be helpful.
- Your doctor can help you with health problems. However, even after these issues have been addressed, it is possible that lingering thoughts or worries are making sex difficult. A therapist can also help you in this case.
This article was co-written by Jacqueline Hellyer. Jacqueline Hellyer is a psychotherapist and founder of The Love Life Blog and The LoveLife Clinic. With over 20 years of experience, Jacqueline specializes in counseling and advice on sex and emotional issues. In addition to working as a psychosexual therapist for the Australian Association of Sexologists, Jacqueline is also a professional coach for the International Federation of Coaches (ICF). Jacqueline holds a bachelor’s degree in biochemistry and humanities from the Australian National University, a postgraduate degree in applied sciences from the University of Canberra, a bachelor’s degree in linguistics and literature from the University of New England, and a master’s degree. in sexual health from the University of Sydney and a master’s degree in cognitive science, spirituality & transpersonal psychology from the Alef Trust. Her work and knowledge have been featured in the magazines Australian Men’s Health, Cosmoppitan, Australian Women’s Health, Marie Claire and 60 Minutes.
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 2,743 times.
To begin with, let’s make one thing clear: marriage isn’t the reason sex gets boring. Whether you’ve been married for 2 months or 20 years, keeping the fire in the bedroom is simply talking and taking “sex” seriously in your relationship. Do not you believe it? Here, we’ve got all you need to know to help you live a happily ever after and sexually fulfilled life.
To conclude, nurturing the passion and desire in a long-term relationship is a vital aspect of maintaining a fulfilling and satisfying intimate life. Implementing the aforementioned five ways can undoubtedly help couples keep the fire alive in the bedroom. From open communication and prioritizing intimacy to exploring new fantasies and experimenting with various techniques, these practices can invigorate a couple’s sexual connection and reignite the spark between them. Additionally, incorporating small gestures of affection, such as regular date nights and expressing admiration for one another’s physical appearance, can go a long way in boosting the overall attraction and desire within the relationship. By consistently and consciously investing effort and creativity in their sexual endeavors, couples can ensure that the flames of passion continue to burn brightly. Remember, a healthy and thriving sexual connection is not only crucial for physical satisfaction but also for fostering a deep emotional bond and maintaining a strong, lasting partnership.
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