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Betrayal is a deeply painful experience that can shake the very foundations of trust and leave individuals feeling lost, hurt, and confused. Whether it is a friend, partner, colleague, or family member, no one is immune to the possibility of being betrayed. The effects of betrayal can be long-lasting, causing emotional distress, mental anguish, and even physical symptoms. However, it is important to remember that while betrayal may be devastating, it is possible to heal and move forward. In this article, we will explore various strategies and techniques on how to deal with betrayal, cope with the aftermath, rebuild trust, and ultimately find peace and happiness once again. Whether you have been recently betrayed or are still grappling with the pain of a past betrayal, this guide aims to provide you with the tools and support needed to navigate through this challenging experience.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 15,190 times.
Betrayal tends to come from a direction you didn’t expect. The reason is because you can only be betrayed by someone you trust. A coworker, relative, lover, or close friend you trust could be a traitor to you. Betrayal also originates from a group of people: you will feel betrayed when some of your friends spread bad rumors about you, or when you are not invited to a family gathering. Regardless of whether you choose to rebuild trust or not, the best way to deal with betrayal is to take care of yourself and learn to forgive.
Steps
Take care of yourself
![Image titled Deal With Betrayal Step 1](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/f/f7/Deal-With-Betrayal-Step-1-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Deal-With-Betrayal-Step-1-Version-2.jpg)
- It’s also helpful to write down how you feel. If you keep a journal, you can write down exactly how you’re feeling. If not, you can write yourself a letter. You can also write a letter to the person or group of people who betrayed you, but you should wait about a week before deciding to send it. [2] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- Suppressing pain can cause many health problems like chronic pain, lack of sleep, and even heart disease. [3] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
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- If the person who betrayed you is far away, stop contacting them. Let them know that you will contact them when you feel ready to chat. You can provide a specific appointment date if needed.
- Stop using social media. You should stop viewing websites that may provide unsolicited information about the person who has hurt you.
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Forgive
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- Forgiveness will positively affect your health and wellness. Forgiving betrayal lowers blood pressure, improves heart health, and reduces anxiety and depression. [10] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
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- If you’re having a hard time getting rid of negative feelings, you should return to practicing self-care. Try taking a meditation or yoga class to get rid of negative thoughts. [12] XResearch Source
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- If you want to show your tolerance without having to face the person who betrayed you, you can write a letter. When you find yourself growing angry in the process of writing, stop writing and try again when the anger has subsided.
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- If the person who betrayed you has passed away or refuses to contact you, you will not be able to rebuild your relationship with them. You need to try to forgive them without their help. [15] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
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Rebuilding trust
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- Try to be clear: “I feel betrayed when you confidently say what I have shared with you.” It’s easier for the person who has upset you to understand this statement than an accusatory statement like “You betrayed my trust when you confidently said what I shared with you”.
- First, you should try to write a letter. If you think your style will help you better express your feelings, you can read the letter aloud to the person who betrayed you, or ask them to read it before you start a conversation.
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- A sentence that begins with the subject “I” will also be quite useful in this case. “I’ll be happy to know that you understand why I’m suffering.” “I would greatly appreciate an apology from you: it would mean a lot to me.”
![Image titled Deal With Betrayal Step 14](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/b/be/Deal-With-Betrayal-Step-14.jpg/v4-728px-Deal-With-Betrayal-Step-14.jpg)
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- Mediation can bring about positive change. For example, if both of you are co-workers, you might want to limit working together, or work more closely together on certain projects. [21] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
![Image titled Deal With Betrayal Step 16](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/7/7d/Deal-With-Betrayal-Step-16.jpg/v4-728px-Deal-With-Betrayal-Step-16.jpg)
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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 15,190 times.
Betrayal tends to come from a direction you didn’t expect. The reason is because you can only be betrayed by someone you trust. A coworker, relative, lover, or close friend you trust could be a traitor to you. Betrayal also originates from a group of people: you will feel betrayed when some of your friends spread bad rumors about you, or when you are not invited to a family gathering. Regardless of whether you choose to rebuild trust or not, the best way to deal with betrayal is to take care of yourself and learn to forgive.
In conclusion, dealing with betrayal is a challenging and painful process, but it is essential for personal growth and healing. It is important to acknowledge and validate our emotions, allowing ourselves to grieve and process the betrayal. Building a support system, whether it involves trusted friends or professional therapists, can provide guidance and comfort during this difficult time. Practicing self-care, such as engaging in activities that bring joy and taking care of one’s physical and mental well-being, is crucial. Forgiveness, though difficult, can help in letting go of anger and resentment, freeing ourselves from the burden of betrayal. Lastly, it is important to learn from the experience, allowing it to shape us into more resilient individuals. By taking these steps, we can navigate the aftermath of betrayal and find strength, healing, and ultimately, a renewed sense of trust in ourselves and others.
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