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Understanding and connecting with others is an essential skill that can greatly benefit both our personal and professional lives. Whether it’s establishing new friendships, building meaningful relationships, or excelling in our careers, knowing how to get into people and genuinely connecting with them can make all the difference. However, the art of getting into people goes far beyond superficial conversations or simply knowing the right words to say. It involves empathy, active listening, emotional intelligence, and the ability to understand others on a deeper level. In this guide, we will explore various strategies and techniques that can help us master the art of getting into people, allowing us to forge more meaningful connections and create lasting impressions in all aspects of life.
This article was co-written by Cher Gopman. Cher Gopman is the founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, which provides dating advice in New York. ‘NYC Wingwoman’ offers matchmaking and dating advice, one-on-one coaching, and an intensive weekend coaching program. Cher is a life coach and former mental health nurse, and her work has been featured in Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1 and The New York Post.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 49,213 times.
It’s not easy to fit in with someone you don’t know well, especially if you’re not very social – and who does? But if you want to get to know other people, you have to find a starting point, and socializing can lead to some more intimate relationships. The guy you talk to at the party might turn out to be your best friend, or the woman you get to know at a business conference might help you find a new job. You won’t be able to get to know anyone if you keep hiding in a corner!
Steps
Find someone to chat with
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 1](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/b/b0/Mingle-With-People-Step-1-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-1-Version-2.jpg)
- Don’t make it too obvious that you’re looking for acquaintances. You don’t want to appear isolated in making new friends. In other words, try not to look like you’re looking for someone. Look around calmly and casually, without intention. Enjoy the view, but as you do it, look around the room to see if you meet anyone you know.
- If you see someone you know but they’re talking to someone else, it’s a good idea to wait a while for their conversation to settle down before you draw attention and move towards the other person.
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 2](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/0/05/Mingle-With-People-Step-2-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-2-Version-2.jpg)
- This can be awkward, but everyone does it at parties and social gatherings. Most people are friendly and welcoming to you.
- If people ignore you or for some reason don’t seem to welcome you, you can politely ask to leave and find another group to join.
- Stay away from people who seem to be having a lively private conversation. Chances are your presence will bring awkward silence. You can tell if they’re talking privately by observing their body language. If they’re leaning on each other, gesturing freely, and keeping eye contact, you probably shouldn’t interrupt them. [3] XResearch Sources
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 3](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/a/a6/Mingle-With-People-Step-3-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-3-Version-2.jpg)
- When someone approaches you, be polite and friendly.
- Avoid using the phone. Often when annoyed or do not know what to do, many people will start using the phone. You should try to avoid this because then it looks like you are trying to avoid social interaction. [4] X Trusted Source Pew Research Center Go to Source
- Standing close to a point of interest in a room can also help – such as the dining table, the bar, the large stone sculpture in the center of the room. That way, you can start a conversation about these interesting points. [5] XResearch Sources
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 4](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/d/de/Mingle-With-People-Step-4-Version-3.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-4-Version-3.jpg)
- If you’re chatting and someone walks up, invite them to join. Don’t look aloof.
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 5](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/c/c4/Mingle-With-People-Step-5-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-5-Version-2.jpg)
- Ask someone you know to introduce you to others, and don’t be afraid to express yourself.
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 6](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/1/14/Mingle-With-People-Step-6-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-6-Version-2.jpg)
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 7](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/5/58/Mingle-With-People-Step-7-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-7-Version-2.jpg)
- You can back off by politely saying you need to go to the bathroom or get a drink.
- You can also say something like “Oh, Thanh just arrived! Let me introduce you two”, then you can bring more people into the conversation.
- You could say, “I want to talk about this another time.”
Know what to say and do
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 8](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/a/ac/Mingle-With-People-Step-8-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-8-Version-2.jpg)
- Make sure you smile sincerely. The whole face should smile brightly, not only the mouth should smile but the eyes should also know how to smile. Think of the woman with the beautiful smile Julia Roberts, not the smile on the pumpkin used for Halloween.
- Practice smiling before you go to the party. This will give you an idea of how dramatic your smile is so you can adjust and put yourself in a good mood. This also makes you want to smile more. [7] XResearch Sources
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 9](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/0/07/Mingle-With-People-Step-9-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-9-Version-2.jpg)
- “What brings you here tonight? I was friends with Cheryl in college.”
- “This song is great, isn’t it? I really like this band”.
- “Are you part of the wikiHow community? I’ve heard a lot of great things about your company.”
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 10](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/3/3c/Mingle-With-People-Step-10-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-10-Version-2.jpg)
- Try not to look down or look away too much because this makes you appear bored, lethargic.
- If you’re around someone you know, use appropriate gestures to show how close you are to them. You can hug them, kiss them on the cheek, pat them on the shoulder, and more.
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 11](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/0/0d/Mingle-With-People-Step-11-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-11-Version-2.jpg)
- Try dropping some of the usual topics to “get to know each other” and start talking about something more interesting. For example, instead of asking, “What do you do?” You can ask the other person’s opinion about an important event at the present time.
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 12](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/3/3d/Mingle-With-People-Step-12-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-12-Version-2.jpg)
- Don’t pretend you know a subject when you don’t know anything. Everyone was happy to answer any questions and they really enjoyed it. They won’t judge you for not knowing as much as they do. Things will get worse if you are caught lying.
- Try to ask a few more questions about what they just said to show you’re listening and interested.
- Try to redirect the conversation on a topic you know well so that both of you can join the conversation equally. [9] XResearch Source
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 13](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/f/f6/Mingle-With-People-Step-13-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-13-Version-2.jpg)
- Like I said, you shouldn’t take up the whole conversation just to talk about yourself. There should be mutual concessions so that both can talk and listen equally.
- Avoid complaining or being negative (especially when talking about the party, the host, or the food), even if you’re not in a good mood. No one likes to be around negative people.
- Be sure to avoid saying some vulgar jokes or extremely sensitive topics, like illness and death. You can make people uncomfortable. [10] XResearch Source
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 14](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/2/20/Mingle-With-People-Step-14-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-14-Version-2.jpg)
- Treat others at the party the way you would like to be treated – with respect and kindness.
Get the best out of mingling
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 15](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/2/29/Mingle-With-People-Step-15-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-15-Version-2.jpg)
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 16](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/1/1c/Mingle-With-People-Step-16-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-16-Version-2.jpg)
- Remember that everyone can teach you something. Joining the conversation and connecting with others is fun . That’s why people like to party.
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 17](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/1/1f/Mingle-With-People-Step-17.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-17.jpg)
- Dress appropriately so you don’t have to worry about being too stylish or too skimpy. The right clothing can boost your confidence and help you become a story starter.
- Brush your teeth and shower and change clothes so you don’t have to worry about your breath or having a tuft of hair in the middle of your forehead.
- Try to rest. Take a short nap if the event happens later in the day. When you are tired, it will be difficult to fit in with people.
- Eat before you go. You’ll feel more energetic and won’t be inclined to overeat or drink at the party.
- Don’t drink too much alcohol. Sometimes people think they need alcohol to relax. While a little drinking can help, drinking too much can be harmful. Remember to keep your spirits up and drink filtered water in between alcohol.
- Take deep breaths to focus on yourself. Remind yourself that you were invited for a reason: to mingle and have a good time.
![Image titled Mingle With People Step 18](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/c/cb/Mingle-With-People-Step-18.jpg/v4-728px-Mingle-With-People-Step-18.jpg)
This article was co-written by Cher Gopman. Cher Gopman is the founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, which provides dating advice in New York. ‘NYC Wingwoman’ offers matchmaking and dating advice, 1-on-1 coaching and offers intensive weekend coaching. Cher is a life coach and former mental health nurse, and her work has been featured in Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1 and The New York Post.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 49,213 times.
It’s not easy to fit in with someone you don’t know well, especially if you’re not very social – and who does? But if you want to get to know other people, you have to find a starting point, and socializing can lead to some more intimate relationships. The guy you talk to at the party might turn out to be your soul mate, or the woman you get to know at a business conference might help you find a new job. You won’t be able to get to know anyone if you keep hiding in a corner!
In conclusion, getting into people and forming strong connections is a skill that can be developed and enhanced with practice and effort. By employing active listening skills, showing genuine interest in others, and cultivating empathy and understanding, individuals can deepen their relationships and create meaningful connections. It is important to remember that people are complex beings with unique experiences and perspectives, and treating each interaction as an opportunity to learn and grow can lead to more fulfilling relationships. Ultimately, getting into people is about building trust, fostering mutual respect, and investing the time and energy needed to truly understand and connect with others.
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